A vision of my ancestors

Visions, what are they? Are they “real”? Make-believe? Products of an idle mind? Products of an active mind? Made of inspiration? Or access to another realm? I’m not sure the answer matters as much as what the vision gives us.

I had an incredible vision this week, the first since seeing the man and the old log cabin a year and a half ago. In a moment of contemplation of my deceased mother, she came to me and told me I wasn’t alone. And as she did so, out of thin air relative upon relative appeared, one by one, back through time to show me I very much have support. And I began to weep. My mother had always very much been my support structure in her life, helping me almost daily. And it’s been a tremendous journey learning to live without that.

And as much as I miss my mom terribly, it’s been important for me to learn to stand on my own two feet. My vision, real or imagined, helped me to remember than even though my ancestors are not here with me physically, they are here spiritually in my heart, each and every one of them. And I can call on them, in moments of sadness or moments of joy and they are there with me.

Honor your ancestors, they made you what you are.

Scorched

These hot, hot days give way to cool, refreshing nights. The wheel turns slowly. I savor each moment. But she is scorched. The land is dry. The birds flaps their wings on dusty air. The water table is too low. There are watering bans all around. And with it comes risk of fire.

Where once this was a rare occurrence, it is now a yearly ritual in my land base. Still the people speak of entitlement, of taxes paid, of water rightfully theirs and I shake my head in sadness, not because of their shortsighted habits but because she is mistreated despite them.

I trod on.

The Importance of Matrilineal Ancestry

Apart from the sheer interest of it & knowledge gleamed, matrilineal ancestry serves a very important function: it builds and expands the chart to the known mitochondrial Eve.

In my neck of the woods, the present-day province of Québec, which embodied the bulk of la nouvelle France, and previously the rich history of the St-Lawrence Iroquoians, Iroquois, Hurons, and Algonquins,there is a small pool for our MRCA: there were roughly 250 “filles à marier” and about 800 “filles du roi” and an unknown number of the various Native populations. We are kin.

We are all related. We are sisters, connected in time by our blood, in the microscopic remnants of our DNA, unchanged over millenia.

Praise be to those who have gone before. I light a candle in your honor this July Moon.

Beyond the next shadow

Something is pulling at me; something visceral, ancient, raw. I close my eyes, gather my thoughts and emotions. I try to focus. But it thus eludes me.

Something imminent.

Something powerful.

Do you feel it too?

The apprenticeship

This Fall marks a very special anniversary for me: my three year apprenticeship will be complete. And while this journey actually began at the tender age of seven, (well, I suppose in truth it began much, much longer ago), this upcoming occasion is probably my most conscious.

We all walk our own paths, and yet, we actually share the same great path. At this time, my ancestor work merges with my spiritual work to bring me forth onto a new level. I feel ready. I feel worthy. I will walk with confidence.

ETA:

This post got me thinking about the milestones of my life. My first steps into the light at age 7. My introductions to genealogy at 15. Meeting Her at 17. The philosophical debates of my early 20s. Becoming a mother in my late twenties. Quietly starting this apprenticeship almost 3 years ago.

Most of these milestones occurred in my maiden phase and it wasn’t until I became a mother that my path focused.

Have you noticed any quirks on your own path?

My Mother Crossed Over

(This article is a few weeks old, but as the subject is very emotional to me, it has taken some time to wrap my head around it. So it was said…)

A little over a week ago, after 48 complex and highly emotional days & nights, my mother slipped peacefully between the veils, surrounded by loving family, her hands held by her children until the moment she let go of ours and reached out for her parents waiting on the other side.

I am beside myself with sadness that her physical presence is gone. She was a very present person in our family: visiting multiple times a week, daily phone calls, fun projects. And yet, I have taken great comfort in knowing that her essence now resides with the ancestors. She joins them, taking her rightful place as a beloved, honoured guardian.

About eight hours before her death, while I sat there alone quietly keeping my mom company, I am certain that witnessed her essence leave her physical body. I rubbed my eyes thinking I was perhaps dreaming, but no, I was fully awake. I saw a sort of fog rise from her forehead, pause, and then dissipate.

From that point on, her breathing changed, and as family gathered everyone noticed how she seemed different from earlier in the day. Her breathing was more… mechanical, more like it was simply going through the motions, and less like a person trying to live. My mom slipped into a coma, her breathing shallowed, and I held her hand, gently talking to her, loving her, thanking her for having been my mom. And as she took her last breath, there was a tug in my heart and a little something inside of me died too.

I don’t want them month to end. I feel that as long as we remain in April, my mother was still alive. My heart aches. Please, light a candle for us.

A Meaningful Life

Studying genealogy not only acquaints oneself with our roots, but consciously places us in time, in context, of the great cycle of Life. And one inevitably becomes more in-tune with the rhythms of Life, wholly aware – not of the insignificance of our tiny, little, seemingly meaningless lives, tiny specks on the face of Time – but of the magnitude that our existence makes on the Whole.

One. Tiny. Speck.

Without that one tiny speck, the past becomes meaningless and the future non-existent. It is precisely our very existence that makes Life so meaningful.

Each one of us – each person, each plant, each animal, each microorganism, each vitamin & mineral – dance an intricate dance across Time, swirling in and out, creating, destroying, and creating again.

And so it is.